Fear and condemnation would torture my feelings to the point I couldn’t sleep. It had me stuck and unable to move forward, in many areas of my life. Fear was the feelings of being uncertain about my future and condemnation had my constantly thinking what did I do wrong to cause my life to be so messed up. I would think about all the bad things I did in my life and actually relive them over and over again, until I was drained and worn-out. once upon a time not long ago, when I thought about all the negative things I did and I did do some silly childish things as a teenager, I was always in trouble with the law and with my parents. ( That is a whole other story ) I was a very angry child and it can out in various unhealthy ways. When I went back to revisit those memories. My soul would get sick, I would shut down and wouldn’t talk to anyone, I was very sad and couldn’t describe the feelings all I wanted to do was sleep my life away at that point. Those Toxic emotions, resentful, ashamed and deceitfulness crept in and stole a few years of my joy. Those 3 paralyzed me, I was unable to focus on what I could do, because I was so busy focusing on what I couldn’t do. I spent 2 years wondering in the wilderness of my pass faults, I judge myself on teenage permissible behavior. I was unable to put those Toxic emotions in their proper place. Which was in their era of time, when I was a teenager. I allowed those emotions to control how I felt about myself 20 years later.
Please share where do you put Toxic emotions when they come out of nowhere on you?